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♥ Friday, March 23, 2007♥

it has been way past the 2 weeks that jing lun set for me to forget him. Afterall, i never believe that i coulld forget him in just 2 weeks, but i didnt know that the feeling of loving him lingered on after so long.

i guess i was stubborn, or i just because i am cant fight the feeling off. I am very clear that we are not meant for each other but i still try my best to love him. i know that he doesnt love me anymore, or rather, he has never love me before.he is looking for a marriage partner, but i am too young to even think about marrying someone when i have not even complete my studies. well... our major difference and a major barrier to any relationship could be age. :/ i dont know why, but i always try to do what i can to show my concern for him. i bought him po chai pills when he was sick. i made him hearts with straws and put it on his table. sometimes, i just took peeks of him from the back of my table. i just needed to feel his presence. The loving feeling that lingered on feels like puppy love to me. It is a one-sided love that requires no return from him. I just wonder how long will it take for me to forget him?

i took 10 mths to forget my second ex, who fits my bill for a bf. he is understanding, a big brother to me and he is the only one i took the effort to be at his side throughout his preparation for o levels. It can be seen as dumb as he studied at home till 3 then we will sms or go online to accompany each other till 3 then call each other to talk on the phone. it was silly but nice as he was the only bf that manage to chat so well with me and we never quarralled. our r/s lasted 2 mths though but he will be a bf that i will remember. 10 mths.... it really took me a long time to forget him.

My previous r/s lasted abt 6 mths but he was a guy i enjoyed very interesting memories. i will always remember the way we asked each other for surprises and " bu chang". his little surprises for me and the way he makes me feel that i am being loved. i will remember the day we got together 11012005, the candles u light up to say i love you, the night u piggyback me at padang, the night we went on the boat, the days when we cook together and the days we simply love each others company. he was a guy that made me cry from 8am to 8pm when we broke up. i really cried my hearts out as i really treasured him. although we had many disagreements after we broke up, to the extent that we even hate each other, i still think he is a nice bfit took me 5 mths only to forget him though.

this guy that i have been constantly talking about these days... i dunnoe whether it is considered a r/s or not. i guess he never took me as one of his gf before though. our honeymoon period lasted 4 days i guess, then it was over. he said that we should remain as frenz. but 我付出的爱，不能马上收回，（cannot read VIEW, Encoding, then unicode) i will remember the kinder surprise 's surprise he tried to give, the days when we went to esplanade, the day we went for a movie, the first time he gently held my hand for a few seconds on v'day, the times when we walk home from bugis to my place and every little thing he did to make me feel loved. That day before he left BKK, he sent me a very very short msg. "Hey... Take care too... Cya..." It was only this short, but it actually made my day. Does it means that he cares for me? Does it means that he still likes me a little even though we are like frenz? i really dunnoe but it is really sweet. however, i guess he doesnt like me anymore as as and when , he will accidentally or incidentally says " i have a date tml" -.-" ok you have a date but do you have to let me know? " if i can get her, i will watch the movie tml" so you r going out for a hot date for me movie then why say it so loud when u know that i will be sad? well... maybe getting hurt will make me forget him faster.

till next time i blog...


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