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♥ Thursday, February 15, 2007♥

lately i wasnt able to slp well and rest well. feeling super uncomfortable.

i was really upset and pondering about issues these days. why?are all guys like tt?
or only those which i met? i went out with wee keat for movie lately and my frenz apparently got upset that i rather go out with wk than him. he showed signs of anger n even jealous. why? i thou it was my misunderstanding so i ignored these signs n carried on with life. yet, things start to change. he starts to get snappy when we talk abt v day or even wk. boo~. so i thou he was sensitive or i am imagining things. yet he is so nice to me. i rcvd a kinder surprise from him everyday n he is the gd bro kind which i admire. but i curbed my feelings cox i thou it was impossible bet us n its impossible tt he will lyk me. but i was wrong, he felt tt he lyk me initially and even posted some of his thoughts on his blog. well.... but by the time i realise the full picture
it was too late. we were quarreling for some issues n we felt tt if we r really a couple, we will be quarreling day n nitez.

then why mislead me in the first place. shud hab know tt our age gap will b an obstacle n you shud nt hab treated me so well. sorry to say but i hab a soft spot for guys that treat me well. esp e brotherly way. what hurts most was when i started to like him, he started to not like me. AN IRONY! a day before v day, he suddenly told me he still love his ex a lot.
THEN WHY SHOWED INTEREST IN ME IN THE 1ST PLACE? WHY DO U HAB TO SHOW YR JEALOUS N LET ME KNOW TT U ACTUALLY LYK ME B4? go ahead n like yr ex n i will jus contd to think tt my fondness for u was a kind of brotherly love. why do u need to tread tt fine line bet frenz n lovers?

i woke up in the nitez cursing his actions. i din let the tears fall but e feeling traps in me. if u dun lyk me, pls dun contd misleading me. when we finally went out on v day, he treated me to a fine jap restaurant n gd ambience which was sweet.

he even offered to walk all e way hm with me from bugis to my hse. on our way back, he held my hand to cross the stretch of road for tt brief 2 secs. but my mind was already in a mess. yet, today was an all new story. he told me he treated everyone equally well n not particulary me. so......... i was the one tt was living in a fairytale dream all this while.

the story was nv meant to begin as it was a story started with an ending in mind but then why let it begin n let me get hurt in the process. i am fragile, esp to BGR. i dun lyk the feeling of being cheated.

and he just sits behind me. even if i wanna forget him, i cant. i can only pray tt time will heal all wounds n let us take many steps back to where we begin as frenz. i gotta learn to brace myself....


my donut-addict STOPS!